My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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