so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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