ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
why is half of my head shaved?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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