never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
