I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
