I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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