Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
