Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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