I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
