He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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