lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
