You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize