and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just want nice things and good sex
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
