How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
