you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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