You're a womanizer and a bitch.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
