they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
