So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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