walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
