NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize