Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
