I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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