In the future we'll all be gay
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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