i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
