It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the day after is always just damage control
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
