i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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