I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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