But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
