It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
