so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
