do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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