Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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