wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
