Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Randomize
