and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
