she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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