I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
