yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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