I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
