I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
