batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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