I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
