If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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