super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
