he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
