No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
