omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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