Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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