She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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