I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
