Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
