I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
