so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
