i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
