I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
