the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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