She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize