Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
