508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I feel like abortions should bother me more
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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