Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
