Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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