dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
