It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
