Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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