after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
