Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
